10 Little Dating Mistakes That Could Be Keeping You Single

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Does your love life always seem to stall after the first or second date? You might be shooting yourself in the romantic foot without knowing it. Check out the missteps that experts and women who’ve been there say could be holding you back from love.

Dating mistake: Not letting go of the day’s frustrations before a first date

“When chatting about your day, it may seem natural to bring up the bad day you had at work, the argument with your friend or the fact that you couldn’t find parking earlier,” says James Wadley, Ph.D., the author of Would You Marry You? But on a first date you might want to “keep your bad attitude at home, and then go out to meet others to show them how adaptable, resilient and sexy you can be.”

Dating mistake: Asking the “five year plan” question too soon

“Talking about at what age you’d like to get married and have kids too early on in the conversation changes the whole tone of trying to get to know someone,” says Jessi Bockting, from Louisville, Kentucky. “It suddenly feels like a job interview.”

Dating mistake: Seeing singlehood as a problem

This kind of thinking can lead women to believe they’re being “too picky” or “too needy,” says Karin Anderson, Ph.D., the author of It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet, and it can cause them to create a fake personality. “When they present this phony self, they naturally attract the wrong men, and ultimately these relationships fail,” she says.

Related: 10 Lies Women Tell Themselves About Men and Love

Dating mistake: Not replenishing your supply of single girlfriends

“Continuing to make friends when you’re single can be as important as getting out and meeting men,” says Kate Galvin, from Philadelphia. “When you don’t have a circle of girls also facing singledom, you don’t have anyone kicking your butt to get out there and meet people. It’s easier to hang out with your married/in a relationship/platonic pals than motivate yourself to go out.”

Dating mistake: Watching too many chick flicks

“Chick flicks paint a vision of love that just isn’t realistic, and then you have all these expectations and you start painting a picture of ‘the perfect man’ in your mind. But a person’s imperfections are what make him interesting, and that doesn’t mean he won’t be right for you.” 
— Amy Landon, Louisville, Ky.

Dating mistake: Going out in one huge group

“The best size group to go out with is three,” says Shannon Fox, the author of Last One Down the Aisle Wins. Going out alone might invite men to talk to you but only because you seem vulnerable and desperate. Two is too easily unbalanced. (What nice guy wants to ask a girl to dance if it means leaving her friend all alone?) And four is too intimidating—no guy wants to risk putting himself out there in front of a gang of potentially critical women.”

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